Fake
by CharlieMusgron
Summary: I was a good faker, but I sucked at reality. Spencer POV, AU I guess?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N- short little thing I came up. lemme know if you like it, please?. I dunno if I should continue it or not.**

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I was a good faker.

I could fake happiness while going out with other friends.

I could fake orgasms with the boyfriends I managed to fake happiness with.

I faked the hate I had towards the girl I really loved.

I faked the happiness of my fake high school clique.

I faked being straight.

But,

I sucked at reality.

In reality, I was in love with the school badass.

I was a lesbian.

I hated the people I called my 'friends.'

I felt like a plastic Barbie bitch.

I pretended to be the tough cheerleader that didn't care what people thought of me.

But in reality, I was scared shitless.

* * *

Have you ever watched someone talking to you?. Watched their lips and just wanted to tell that person to shut up by crushing their lips to yours?.

Yep. I have. Guilty as charged.

Ususaly it's when Ashley and I fight in the hallways, because we're social opposites, because we were supposed to hate each other. Because our friends hated each other.

Because we were different.

It was like a war was building every time we found each other in a hall or classroom.

When it was I that started it, it was usually just to have more time near her.

I was fascinated with her.

One day she just stopped me in the bathroom.

I was standing at a sink next to her, both of us watching our hands. She looked at me in the reflection of the mirror.

"Spencer." she suddenly said, "Why do we even fight?. We don't even know each other."

"I…uhm…I really don't know."

"You don't look happy with them. But what do I know right?, I'm just the school 'dyke'."

She said that last word rather harshly, I regret it ever coming out of my mouth that day I called her it right after Madison did. After she was done washing her hands, she wiped the soapy water on her pants and spoke up again.

"It's whatever. Just don't sit there and fake happiness for other people. It's your life, why are you living it for them?" and with that, she left.

She was so right. And I was going to tell her. After school.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N- sorry the chapters are always so short lately, the splitting up of the events and such does that. plus with FF's little flipouts the past few days...well, yeah. lol. it has put a damper on my mood. I've decided to continue this, (reader: obviously. me: shut up, you asked for it, lol) woot woot. enjoy :) **

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I cut cheerleading practice early and head to the parking lot to face the brunette.

I spotted her black Porsche across the lot next to my brother's car.

Taking a deep breath I made my way over, partially disappointed that she wasn't there.

I began pacing in front of her car, wringing my hands trying to think about what to say when she actually showed up. God, I feel like a stalker.

"Penny for your thoughts?" I heard her raspy voice from behind me and my heart jumped.

"I…uh…" I tuned to see the brunette smirking at me, waiting for my response.

Now or never Carlin.

"What you said earlier…you're right. And I'm sorry."

"I know I'm right."…I couldn't help but think; cocky much?…"And why are you sorry?"

"I'msorrythatwefightsomuch." I breathed. She was still smirking at me as she walked over to lean on the hood of her car.

"Why do we even do it then?. I mean for all we know, we could probably get along if we tried. Like right now for instance. No fighting is going on, we're conversing like civilized people."

"Yeah. It's nice." I smiled at her, really looking at the girl for the first time. She was beautiful. When she smiled, her nose crinkled just so, it took my breath away. Her shirt was riding up and I was given a view at her tonned, tan abs. actually, her whole body was tan and she was in great shape.

"Hey, Princess!" she waved her hand to get my attention, was I staring?. Her fingers touched my chin and pushed my mouth closed. Oh shit. Embarrassing. She spoke again, "As much as I'd love to stand here and chat while you oggle me, I have shit to do. So, is this a truce?" her hand shot out and I took it. "I guess it is then. No more pointless fighting?. It's kinda getting old." she added, taking her hand back after our little 'truce shake.'

Her touch sent shivers down my spine.

"Later, Princess!" she yelled out of her car window as she drove away.

I'm really hoping she meant everything she said.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N- I've been going insane with writers block, so I hope this chapter is satisfactory. I have some notes on where I'm gonna try to go with it, but yeah, I'll try to get it through soon.**

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It's been about six or seven months and Ashley and I have kept to that silly little truce we made at the parking lot. She's not the bitch I first thought she was. We got to know each other a lot during the months, mostly through texting and meeting up after school.

But today was different.

Today at school was…weird. Needless to say the halls were quiet. I wasn't starting anything with Ashley, and she wasn't starting anything either.

Madison did though.

There was cheer practice after school, so the whole squad was walking out of the gym. She was standing by her locker talking to one of her friends, who looked a lot like her, maybe they were related?. I don't know. But usually, when Madison sees Ashley, something just has to come out of her mouth.

I wasn't paying much attention, Ashley locked eyes with me and I couldn't help but forget my surroundings.

And then, I heard it. Madison's loud ass voice.

"Oh, well if it isn't the resident dyke and her new conquest."

I don't know what came over me, but the next thing out of my mouth shocked everyone.

"Shut the fuck up Madison."

I heard a few people's gasps and the other's breath's hitch.

Was it really that big a deal?. I shrugged to myself and walked over to the double doors while Madison just stared.

When I got to my car, Ashley was already there. How was she so fast?.

I couldn't help but smile, "Hey."

"Hey yourself, Princess. Or, wait, after that whole thing, you might need a new nickname." she flashed me a smirk. I wanna see the other smile. The nose crinkly one. Wait, no, coz if she does, I might die.

"So, are you free to hang today?." she suddenly asked.

"I…uh…yeah, actually I am."

"Sweet. Park sound good?"

"The park?"

"Yeah, I go there to hang out sometimes. To just, enjoy quiet time, away from all the bullshit at school and home. I have this secluded spot. It's pretty cool…if you wanna come with…"

"Park sounds good. Though if we can hit a Burger King first, that's be great…I haven't eaten all day."

"Burger King?. You mean you don't live off salads and avoid carbs?. Wow Spence. Not the typical cheerleader." she did it, the nose crinkle smile.

I bit my bottom lip before continuing. "Yeah, I'm a fan of big juicy burgers. I definitely cant live off of the shit Madison expects us to eat."

We laughed together for a minute. "So, do you wanna head to BK and I'll follow?, Then I'll lead you to the park."

I'm surprisingly disappointed that we didn't ride together. But it was okay, I guess. "Sounds like a plan."

I think I just had a mouth-gasm. That first bite of the whopper is amazing. Ashley sat next to me on the tabletop of a park bench, laughing.

"What?!?" I asked, muffled by whopper guts.

"You're hilarious Spence. I heard that moan when you bit into that burger."

"So?!. It was soooo gooooooddd." I bit in and made another moan to get another laugh.

"It's cute." she said quietly. I stopped chewing as she bit into her burger, staring out into the lake off in the distance.

Swallowing the last bite of the burger that was still in my mouth, I stared out into the lake too, unable to think of a way to break the awkward silence.

I looked down and kicked a rouge fry sitting on the bench seat below me. "Do you believe in love at first sight?" I mumbled out.

I saw her face turn and look at me. "Uhm…Kinda. Why?" she responded, popping a fry in her mouth.

"Just wondering. It's something that's been on my mind." I laid back on the bench and looked up into the darkening sky. She copied my movement and her arm laid on mine. Was it on accident?.

I'm not sure if she felt the same as I did. I don't know if she felt the sudden spark then comfortable warmth that I felt when she touched me. I don't know if her heart was as erratic as mine when I saw her smile.

"Y'know, this is the closest we've been." it was true, we hadn't even hugged.

"Sorry." she gets up and sits on the edge of the table.

"No..that's not…" I began, but she interrupted.

"No, I was getting cramped anyway."

What a liar.

All I wanted to do was tell her to shut up and lay back down.

Scratch that. All I wanted to do was kiss her.

No, I'm not supposed to like her like that.

"Penny for your thoughts?" she asked, turning to look at me.

"I…I…can't."

"You can't what?. You can't tell me what you're thinking?."

"No, I just, I can't do this." I sit up and bury my face in my hands.

"Spencer, what's wrong?" She seemed generally worried.

"Please, just, stop." I said into my hands, shaking my head.

"Stop what Spence?. Caring?. Because I can't."

"No, just, stop whatever it is you're doing."

"What is it that I'm doing wrong?"

"Whatever it is that's making me fall for you. I just, can't."

That caught her off guard.

"Spencer…I'm not doing anything."

"You are, because that's what's happening, Ashley, I can't. Please."

"You can't or won't?" she suddenly asked, her voice sounded dead. Void of all emotions.

"I don't know, both?. It's just not who I am. It's not who I'm supposed to be. I…"

"Who you're supposed to be?. Really Spencer?. You won't just do what you're heart tells you because you're trying to fit in?. That's ridiculous."

"I just…I can't do this. I won't do this. I have to go."

I got up off the bench to leave when she spoke again,

"So you really don't want this then?"

I had to lie. "I…*sigh*…no." I said and walked over to my car.

I managed to drive home safely, but once I hit the driveway, I broke down.

In one day, I managed to fuck everything up.

I walked away from what I really wanted.

Walked away from the person I was falling for.

I'm such an idiot.


	4. Chapter 4

Ashley and I haven't been talking. It's been a month.

I hate it.

I was gonna text her. So many times. I wanted to. She texted me a few times, but I couldn't bring myself to text her back. I mean, what was I supposed to say?

I slammed my locker shut and slammed my head into it. This is bullshit. I'm hurting her. And I'm making myself miserable.

A hand shot out and hit the locker next to the side of my head. Then another on the opposite side. I turned to be face to face with Ashley. She had me trapped.

"Ashley…"

"You can't avoid me anymore Spencer. We need to talk, and we need to talk now."

All I could do was nod. Then I swallowed my heart back down and I whispered, "I know."

"Really?. Then why haven't you been answering me?" she looked kinda scary, honestly.

"I…just…"

Madison, again, interrupted. "Ashley, stop trying to convert Spencer. She doesn't swing that way."

Ashley didn't look away from me, "Madison, just shut up and leave Spencer alone."

"Fuck you Davies, she can speak for herself."

Ashley raised her eyebrow, "Doesn't look like it. Because she probably would have done so by now."

And with that, she walked away.

Damnit. Damnit Damnit Damnit.

What now Spencer?… I don't know Spencer, maybe you should stop talking to yourself and figure out what you're gonna say to Ashley!… That's WHY I'm talking to myself in the first place.

Oh great, I'm insane!.

I pulled out my phone and saw a text from Ashley. *Park. After school.*

*I'll be there.*

We needed to talk.

And we needed to fix this.

I needed to fix this.

* * *

When I arrived, Ashley's car was already in the parking lot. She was over on the bench we sat at last time. With a bottle of…liquor?

I sat next to her on the bench and she didn't look over, just started talking.

"You know what really sucks?. I really thought we were getting along pretty well. But then we go and fight, and I just…I don't know. I don't get it."

"We were getting along perfect. I'm just an idiot. I'm sorry Ashley."

"Do you still mean what you said last month?."

Aw, shit. Did she really just ask that question?.

"Ash…I…"

"It's a simple question Spencer."

Why does she always have to be right?

"Which part of what I said last month?" ha.

"All of it. All of the stuff you said before you stormed off."

Damn.

"Well, I meant the part about falling for you. And now, I think I really kinda, well, I might love you."

"You might?… You're so damn indecisive Carlin, what about my feelings?"

"Well, what are you feeling?"

"I love you. And I know I do."

"Are you sure that's not the alcohol talking?" I joked.

"I'm sure. I only had about, three shots worth. Believe me, I'm serious. Do you think I would have cornered you earlier if I didn't?. it's pretty much why I started really talking to you, and stopped the fighting."

"I love you too." I said under my breath.

She looked over and smiled at me. "I know you do. I just wanted to hear you say it."

"How did you…"

"Well, I could name off some reasons, but I mean really, you were totally staring at me that day you waited by my car. And then every time I'd talk to you you'd get nervous."

Damnit.

"…Oh."

"Yep."

"So, where does this leave us now?" did I really just ask that…

Before I could finish that thought, her lips were on mine. She was gentle, yet rough with passion. I'd never kissed a girl before, but this was so much better than kissing a guy.

I don't think I'd ever fake a relationship with a boy again.

Now I have Ashley.

She's all that I need.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N- I'm not sure I like this chapter. jus so you know.**

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Six months into the relationship.

Now, I knew Ashley was a habitual drug user, but we weren't usually around each other when she did it.

Usually.

I was sitting in her living room waiting for her to stop smoking, because I needed to stay sober. I need to drive home. Plus I'm not a pothead.

"Spence, if you wanna come in my room now, you can. I'm done and I sprayed the room with Lysol."

I walked in her bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Sorry about that, you came in at a bad time, and I kinda needed that smoke."

"I can come back-"

"No, no Spence, I'm happy you're here." she gave me her famous nose crinkling smile and my heart melted.

"Come lay with me?" she asked. How could I say no?, I loved cuddling with my girlfriend.

My girlfriend.

I love it.

I love her.

She started brushing the tip of her nose along my neck, and kissing the areas she passed softly.

It tickled.

"Mmm…Spence…"

"Ash…" I whispered.

She hopped up and straddled my hips, kissing me gently, then it got more forceful. Both of us want this.

She took my arms and pushed them over my head. I felt loose metal attached to the headboard.

I pulled away, grabbing the metal. I recognized what it was.

"Ash…are these, are these handcuffs?" I asked.

"Yeah." she whispered into my neck, nipping at it.

"Kinky. Can I cuff you to the bed?" I asked, waiting until she looked at me, she seemed to think it over and then flashed me a huge grin.

"Sure."

I cuffed her to the headboard, making sure it was secure, then started working on her neck, my hands on her waist.

Suddenly her hands shot out and grabbed my waist and flipped us back over.

"What the hell?, how'd you get out of those damn cuffs so fast?. I had them secured!"

"Babe, come on, it's not my first time in handcuffs. I know how to escape them,"

"What do you mean?… Have you been arrested before?"

"Yeah. But on false accusations. No big deal. My dad got me out every time."

"Every time?. How many times?"

"Uhm…like, four. Is that bad?"

"Were any of them legit?"

"One was. It was for drugs and underage drinking. But because of my dad I got off with a warning. The other ones were stupid and were for who I hung out with. But it's over now. I say out of the public eye. Does it make you uncomfortable?" she pulled away and just straddled my hips, waiting for my answer.

"No. it's fine. It doesn't matter. As long as you didn't kill anyone I'm fine."

"Thank god." her hand was stroking my hip. It felt good.

"Wait… Who's your dad?. Is he like a lawyer or something, always getting you out of trouble?"

"nah, he's Raife Davies. From Purple Venom."

"Oh, so he's a hit with the cops?"

"Pretty much. They love him, Oh by the way, I'm not gonna cuff you, because you won't be able to get out. Those are real police cuffs." she smiled and leant down to kiss me. "Plus if I had you cuffed I might not be able to control myself." and before I could respond, her lips crushed mine again.

As I said, I love my girlfriend.


	6. Chapter 6

Ashley and I have had a pretty great relationship so far. We celebrated our 8 month anniversary last weekend.

But we fought. a lot.

Now, I dunno how much couples usually fight. But we weren't a normal couple. Part of me though we fought way too much. Over the dumbest shit. Sometimes it was my fault, sometimes hers, and sometimes, both of our faults. But we usually made up really quickly.

Usually.

Kyla Woods and Aiden Dennison; poster couple in high school. Everyone loved them.

Well, almost everyone.

Remember when I saw the girl that looked like Ashley?. Well that's Kyla. Kyla's Ashley's half sister. Ashley always said her dad was a man-whore. Makes sense. Rockers always get the groupies. (Honesty, that kinda scared me. When Ashley became famous, was she gonna forget me and fuck other girls?. Oh, yeah, she's talented, she will surely be a rock n roller soon.)

I don't want to lose her.

Anyway, back to Kyla and Aiden.

Kyla was on the squad with me, she moved to Madison's second in command, even though everyone listened to her over Madison, because, quite frankly, no one liked Madison.

Aiden was the star basketball player, well, him and my brother Glen. They were both big-shot jocks. Aiden was cute…for a guy, I guess. Apparently all the girls in school were head over heels for this kid.

Ashley was one of them.

Back before I moved here, to Los Angeles, Aiden and Ashley were together for a really long time. The fact that they still talk kinda bothers me.

I digress. How about we fast forward to the moment I'm in now. Laying on Ashley's bed. Waiting for her to finish talking to Kyla.

Don't get me wrong, I love Kyla. She's a great person. But I need my girlfriend.

I closed my eyes and just focused on how comfortable Ashley's bed was.

Then I felt a weight on my hips.

Ashley.

She leant down and gave me a passionate kiss.

It bothered me that she tasted like weed and Listerine.

"Damn Spence, your lips…are so…amazing. I can't get enough…" she whispered into my mouth.

She had to be stoned.

"Let me guess, you kissed a girl and you liked it, the taste of her cherry chapstick…" I couldn't help it. Gotta love Katy Perry.

"Nah, I want a girl with lips like morphine. So much better." what a smartass.

"What's with us quoting songs?" I laughed.

"Just shut up and kiss me." I wasn't about to….

All of a sudden she hops off coughing, I gotta admit, I'm worried. Very worried. Ash says its no big deal, it happens sometimes after the drugs. I give her a disapproving look. She asks what?. Psh, like she doesn't know. She tried to kiss me again after her coughing dies down.

Here comes one of our famous arguments.

I pulled away. "You're high again."

"No Spence I'm fine. I swear."

"You taste like weed Ashley. Maybe you should stop the drugs, or chill on them, or something. It's hurting you. Its hurting us."

She sighed, "Spence it makes me feel better with all the bullshit going on."

Honestly, I felt bad, because she did have a lot going on. But it really hurt that the drugs were better than I was. I mean, isn't your girlfriend supposed to make you feel better?. I told her I was here for whatever she needed. I told her she could talk to me. Her drug use made me feel like a failure, a bad girlfriend. I couldn't help but be a little pissed.

"Oh so I don't make you feel better?. Real nice Ashley. Why don't you jus go back to Aiden, oh yeah, because Sara definitely told me she saw you guys together earlier today. Maybe HE made you feel better, like he used to, right?, Oh, and lest I forget the shit that keeps getting you thrown in JAIL. Ashley, you're 19. You've been locked up more times than anyone should. That's ridiculous. Plus it's making you cough out your lungs."

"Look, Spencer, Aiden and I are WAY over. What I had with Aiden is nothing compared to what I have with you. I love you. I'm IN love with you. And the drugs are…just…"

What if we get sick of each other?… I've never been 'in love' before…

"But, I mean apparently you've been sick of me for awhile. Sick of me enough to hook up with your ex bf and take drugs to forget about all the 'bullshit' in your life."

We were really going at it now. But we argue discreetly. We're not the ones to be screaming and throwing shit. We talk, with semi raised voices, but our words pack a mean punch.

"I will never get sick of you." I hate that she could sometimes read my mind. "And I'd NEVER cheat. Please, stop believing other people. He's with Kyla. I'm with you. Can we just get past these stupid accusations?. I already told you…"

"Oh, so Sara is stupid and she didn't see you with Aiden?"

Sara was one of my best friends. She was there for me when Ashley and I fought.

"He was giving me weed Spencer. That's it. I swear."

"Yeah, the weed that's more important than me. The shit that made you high enough to cheat on me!. I jus, I'm done Ashley. I can't keep getting hurt like this. I can't. This relationship is fucking everything up."

I got up off Ashley's bed and waked out. I can't keep dealing with this fighting. I always said it. Usually one of us called the other and apologized, but I surely wasn't doing it this time. I need to salvage what's left of my heart. Ashley had it in the palm of her hand and she used it as a stress ball. Squeezing it, then releasing. All the damn time. It hurt too much.

I really don't know what to do, or what's best for us. I still think she's seeing Aiden on the side, because she's out a lot, and Kyla's alone, a lot. And Sara's telling me about them together, a lot.

The relationship I kept with Ashley made me lose a lot. But I didn't care. My family was weird to me when they found out. Well, mostly my mom. She wasn't fond of my lifestyle or my girlfriend. She treated me like less of a daughter. She kept telling me she loved me. But it's only believable for so long.

I stuck by Ashley through everything. Through her dad dying, through her mom's abandonment, through it all. And she still has to take drugs?. It hurts so much.

I don't know how much I could take.

I'm pretty sure she'll call me, trying to apologize, and maybe I'll forgive her, and we could deal with it, again, like we always do.

I hope she calls me.


	7. Chapter 7

ASHLEY POV

I never knew it was possible to be this depressed.

Over a girl.

But she wasn't just any girl.

She was Spencer Carlin.

She was THE girl. The one that changed me, for the better. The one who helped me see that it is possible to love one person with everything you are. That it's possible to be happy without drugs.

When she thought I cheated with Aiden, she broke up with me. I left town.. This wasn't the first time Aiden got in-between our relationship, but I'm damn sure this is the last time.

Because she won't even talk to me.

This has happened too many times, Aiden, the breakup, the tears, the ignoring, all of it.

I tried to talk to her almost everyday for the past month, I even had Kyla, Sara and Chelsea talk to her, because they were the people she trusted most. Kyla KNEW I didn't cheat with Aiden, because, well, he's her boyfriend. And both Sara and Chelsea believe me,

"_aw, Ash, don't worry" Chelsea said while trying to comfort me, "She'll see that you're being honest. Hopefully soon."…_

"_Maybe not soon enough" I sighed._

_I don't know what else to do. Tomorrow I was gonna see her at school again. I just came back from my little 'vacation' (I was gone for about six months, I needed to get my shit together. I've been getting schoolwork sent to me, and now it was time to return and get my life back on track.)_

_And she wont talk to me, again. I know she won't_

_I really don't even want to go._

_Tomorrow's gonna suck._


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N- three updates at once!?!?. I know, wicked, right?. lol. well, I'm still not sure I liked this story. but now, it is either complete (with chance of sequel) or on hiatus. I'm not sure yet. but enjoy these update**s. XD.

* * *

So Ashley split. She left town after that fight. I took that as her breaking up with me.

And fuck was I miserable.

I tried dating this girl I met at a bar, her name was Kendra.

She kinda looked like Ashley. Maybe that's what attracted me.

Or maybe it was because I was wasted. I dunno. But we've been dating for two months so far.

I fucking hated it.

I was being fake again. After Ashley came around I was able to be myself. But now I was faking happiness in another fake relationship with a girl I barley knew for a stupid rebound.

Ashley had left six months ago. I'd been moping for four of those months, but today was Kendra and my two month anniversary.

Did I lose you?. I hope not.

Anyway, after Ash left, I think I went insane. (Well, a little more than I usually was. Ya know, the whole talking to myself bit.) no, this was worse. While I was awake, I was with Kendra. But in dreamland, I was in a whole different world. Then I started having hallucinations that Ash never left,

I felt bad I was doing this to Kendra.

But after our first month together, I stopped feeling bad.

She was abusive.

Why was I still with her?. I was desperate really. I needed to be with someone. I couldn't be alone.

Today, Kendra and I decided to spend our two month anniversary at the park. Great night time walk, watch the sun rise, all that corny shit.

We were sitting on a bench by this old tree I used to spend a lot of time around. I was trying to see a shape in the stars when Kendra suddenly spoke.

"Spencer, I love you."

That caught me off guard. She told me she loved me, but I couldn't say it back. I cant lie about something like that. My heart belonged to another. A gorgeous brunette with golden brown eyes and…

Kendra broke me out of my thought process.

"Look at me Spencer," she grabbed my face with one hand, it hurt, she was grabbing a little too tight.

"You don't love me do you?" she asked, and took my blank expression as her answer. She shoved my head back and walked off. I thought I was going to get whiplash or something.

I cried and called Sara. She told me she would come meet me at the park in five.

But that's when I saw her… the sister of the girl I truly loved. she was staring at me with her phone in her hand, it looked like she had seen the whole thing.

I felt a familiar pair of arms wrap around me and heard the only voice capable of soothing me,

Ashley cradled me into her arms as I cried. 'what a shitty reunion' I thought, but it was a reunion nonetheless.

She was here. I think. I mean, it could be another hallucination. It was definitely a hallucination. I kept telling myself I was insane and Ashley wasn't really there.

My hallucination was talking to me, and I was talking back. Yep, I was totally nuts. Belleview, here I come. Where were the men in white coats to come take me away and shove me into that nifty little jacket that makes me hug myself ever so tightly. I felt like I was already in the straight-jacket. Arms were cradling around me tightly, and though they were not my own, it still felt real.

I was quire literally freaking out. Crying, shaking and explaining to my hallucination what just happened.

She was saying she'd kill Kendra for hurting me.

I calmed down a bit, today's hallucination was really comforting. I dunno why, but I loved it. I whispered to her, the ghost Ashley, "I know you're not really here. I know I'm dreaming again."

She looked at me and questioned my sanity. I really need to focus and enjoy this moment with my memories. "I just wish it was really you."

"It is really me Spencer, are you okay?"

"That's what you always say Ashley. You always know what to say. I don't know how it's making me feel better though. Because I know you're not here."

"How can I convince you I'm real Spencer?. Because I'm serious. I'm here, right now. And I love you."

"Yep, they're definitely gonna come lock me up."

"Spencer, shh. You're being ridiculous."

Wait. Kyla has never been in my hallucinations before. I clearly saw Kyla. I know I did. I think she's why Ashley's here now.

"Wait…"

"What is it Spence?"

"You're really here."

"Yeah, I am. How did you finally come to this conclusion?"

"Kyla."

"Yeah, Kyla saw what happened and she called me. And I just missed that stupid Kendra bitch. I swear Spencer, I'm gonna kill her."

I turned around and kissed Ashley. It surely wasn't a hallucination. She didn't even taste like weed.

"mmm…Burger King."

She laughed. "Yeah, I picked up some BK on my way home, and then Kyla called me. I have a 'mouth-gasm' burger for you if you want it."

"mmm…Yes Please."

Amazing how much some things can change in a short amount of time.

* * *

We were sitting in Ashley's car. She was first to speak while I stuffed my face with the Whopper. Stupid Kendra didn't let me eat them while we were together, she didn't want me getting fat on gross meat. stupid vegetarian.

"I just have one question. Spence, Why were you with someone who abused you for two months?"

Yep, I told her EVERYTHING.

"Honestly," I swallowed the chewed up mouth-gasm before I spoke again. "I was lonely."

She looked down at her steering wheel. "I'm so sorry Spencer. I regret leaving. If I didn't you wouldn't have to have been with someone else, someone abusive. But I see now I was just as hurtful to you as she was… but now, it's different. I'm done with the drugs. I went away to straighten my life out, and I still managed to fuck yours up more. I'm sorry."

I took her hand in mine. "Thank you. For everything. For being yourself. For saving me. For everything. Ashley. I love you. And I'm glad you're better." I leant over and kissed her. After we pulled away for oxygen, I spoke up again. "Can we just, be together again?"

"Really?. I'd really love to Spencer."

"Good. Because we're both better off." I gave her a smile and for the first time in six months, I saw that gorgeous nose crinkling smile that melted my heart.

As I said before, and as I will say many times again,

I love my girlfriend.


End file.
